Today, Tony’s spirit would leave his body. Skin was cold, gray and damp, breathing irregular, consciousness very near to comatose. But for some odd reason, Tony kept slinging his legs off the side of the bed. His furrowed brow reflected discomfort or maybe anxiety even though the prescribed doses of analgesic and anti-anxiety medications were administered with no apparent relief.
I sensed an emotional or spiritual conflict going on in Tony’s subconscious as he experienced the dying process. Could the relentless tossing of legs and anxious facial appearances signify Tony was trying to run from the whole experience?
Having watched countless individuals go through the dying process these past 40 years, I’ve determined we have some choice concerning our state of mind. Quantum physics research has proven we are (including our thoughts) composed of energy. Our thoughts shift the world around us on a particle-by-particle basis to create our physical life.
Tormented fingernails scratching a chalkboard could describe some folks’ last days. Then there are those who quietly slip away, seemingly with no regrets. Tony’s body did die an hour after my arrival. The grimace and pitching legs continued until his last breath.
My last blog talked about peaceful relationships with self, others and God. There was a time in my life I believed a lie that whispered, “Pleasing self and others will give you the most peace and will please God.” This relational choice caused me internal conflict, painful neck muscles, grinding teeth as I slept, and elevated blood pressure.
All that unpleasantness mostly left when I began to courageously embrace the truth that allowing my Creator God to direct my choices each day brought tremendous peace and began moving me forward toward realization of my hopes and dreams. Why would I want to make choices based on my limited wisdom, perspective and strength when He freely shares His wisdom, unlimited perspective and greater than any other strength?
Working through conflict with others when I don’t do what they ask or say what they want to hear, is not easy but very rewarding when I’m following the Master of relationships. Denying what my flesh wants can take a great deal of self-denial or surrender of what I want but in the end has great rewards.
When I begin to sense inner turmoil or the physical discomfort of conflict, I take an inventory of the state of my relationships and choices, reviewing all with my loving, personal and wise God. He always has a diagnosis where I’ve gotten off track, an energetic prescription for getting back on track and an encouragement of love.
Instead of believing what they knew was the truth about God, they deliberately chose to believe lies. So they worshiped the things God made but not the Creator himself, who is to be praised forever. Romans 1:25
I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20