Corry, fellow Hospice team member and homosexual, asked, “Would I be welcome at your church.” I carefully replied, “Our Pastor and church family would welcome and accept you. We’re all sinners in need of forgiveness. It’s God’s responsibility to show the places in my life that need changing. He has and will continue to do that lovingly as I open my heart to Him.” Corry’s unbelieving look was her silent response.
In the weeks following, I took interest in Corry’s life, sincerely encouraged her and picked up some of her patient visits when she wasn’t feeling well. She experienced frequent upper respiratory congestion sometimes resulting in sinus infections.
Corry’s immune system wasn’t fully working to protect her from nagging infections. There are many reasons for frequent illness and a struggling immune system. Poor diet, lack of exercise, smoking and unnecessary drug use all take a toll on the ability of our body to dispose of unwanted germs and illness. Stress, anxiety, conflict and resentment can also impair immune system function.
Resentment reared its ugly head in a big way the day I facilitated the bi-weekly Hospice team meeting. During those lengthy meetings, we discussed recent patient deaths as well as current patients.
After 15 minutes of discussing a particularly traumatic death, I suggested we move on. Corry angrily looked at me and said, “Have you no compassion for those of us hurting? You are one of the most unfeeling people I know!”
Shocked I responded, “I’m so sorry.” I looked at the social worker and asked, “Could we schedule a team support group soon to give more processing time concerning this death?” She quickly agreed and we moved on with the rest of the agenda.
After the meeting, one by one, several of the team members quietly came to me and said, “What she said about you isn’t true. You are a very compassionate person.”
My time of prayerful pondering brought some understanding of the conflict between Corry and myself. I could get resentful, avoid her and choose to be vindictive. Or I could recognize this for what it was, a spiritual attack. Despite kindness shown, her lifestyle and built up resentment conflicted with my spiritual beliefs.
I asked God to help me rise above the criticism, forgive Corry and pray she would know God’s peace in her life. My loving faithful Father did that for me.
Division among families, friends and communities has been the result of recent post-election resentment and even hatred. I don’t believe this is a political division but a spiritual one. Practicing this type of spiritual tribalism is to our detriment and doesn’t leave a healthy legacy for future generations.
Do you desire reconciliation in relationships? Would you be willing to speak loving truth within your circle of influence, at the same time showing respect to those who differ with your opinions? Would you bravely seek connection through acts of kindness and prayer, despite criticism? One person not reacting to criticism but responding wisely can make a world changing difference for generations to come.
You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. (NLT: Colossians 3: 13 – 15)
Fools make fun of guilt, but the godly acknowledge it and seek reconciliation. (NLT: Proverbs 14: 9)