My surgical team was professional, efficient and kind as they prepared me for minor surgery 6 weeks ago. The surgeon honored my request for local anesthesia to the surgical site with a bit of IV medication to make me relax and forget the surgical proceedings. Forty minutes later they woke me with the words, “We’re all finished and you can slide onto the gurney to take you to recovery.”
My journey to this surgical suite probably started at birth but at least 15 years earlier when I began to feel a small lump at the nape of my neck. As the years went by, it protruded more when I exerted myself physically or was in a stressful situation. Then I began experiencing migraine headaches with over-exertion.
Over the years, several physicians told me it was a lipoma, a harmless fatty tumor, and to leave it alone. I perceived the quality of my life was declining. I was spending more time resting, avoiding exertion filled activities and busy schedules.
But an interesting pleasure emerged through those long hours of rest. I became OK with doing a lot of resting, reading, praying and reflecting. Hard work got me lots of kudos as a child. So, being comfortable with the practice of regular, peaceful rests didn’t come easy. An obnoxious, persistent voice often nagged me with, “You aren’t accomplishing enough. There are so many things not getting done.”
Through extended hours of rest, I realized the important things were getting done and my inner peace was multiplying. Instead of fear and anxiety concerning the daily news, I was receiving a better understanding of the true nature of world events and how to appropriately respond to them.
The day came when I knew it was time for more medical opinions. The wise surgeon at the University of Miami listened to my story and did the necessary exam. “We don’t know what it is, but it’s changing and I recommend removal. It might be causing the headaches and might not.” Whatever “it” was, I was ready to find out.
The surgical team removed a Ping-Pong ball size tumor. I healed with no complications and the pathology report stated “it” was a hemangioma. These are non-cancerous growths that form due to an abnormal collection of blood vessels. They are often congenital and can form on the skin or on internal organs.
As I engage in exertion filled activities without experiencing a headache, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. But the greater gift really is guiltless peace and rest. In considering the day’s agenda, I’m learning to better listen to the Holy Spirit’s direction. His direction is a whole lot wiser than mine.
I believe God allowed this condition with it’s pain to help me better know who He wants to be for me. I sense this newfound preoccupation with peace and rest is making quality of life fuller and healthier. But I had to change my mind and agree with God that regular peaceful rest is better than a striving life-style.
Is there a health condition you are struggling with? Have you asked God what He wants you to learn from it, how He wants you to better know Him, His love for you and how to cope with a difficult health problem?
God, thank you for healing at so many levels through your loving correction when we ask. Now cause us to cherish even more, our time of rest together.
But what could I say? For he himself allowed this sickness. Now I will walk humbly throughout my years because of this anguish I have felt. Lord, your discipline is good, for it leads to life and health. You have restored my health and have allowed me to live! Yes, it was good for me to suffer this anguish, for you have rescued me from death and have forgiven all my sins. (NLT: Isaiah 38: 15 – 17)