Freedom, independence, autonomy. As a home health and hospice nurse, I found these aspects of the job to be an attractive fit to my personality and life-style. The Clinical Director assigned patients to each nurse; then the nurse, patient and caregivers formulated a plan of care. Under physician orders, this plan of care identified team members involved, frequency of visits, treatments performed, teaching done and goals accomplished.
If my personal agenda was to get the job done as quickly as possible, then I would keep the plan of care simple with as few team members and interventions as possible. After all, communication with the patient, caregivers and team members took time. I confess, there were days where that temptation was tugging at my independent and autonomous heart.
Exploring the emotional/spiritual roots of Nelson’s uncontrolled pain would take communication and referral for the social worker and the chaplain. Esther’s non-healing bed sore would definitely take more time educating the caregivers and demonstrating techniques to speed healing as well as a referral for home care aide intervention. An increase of Elmer’s lung congestion and blood pressure would mean a phone call to the physician resulting in change of medication and follow up with patient and caregiver to instruct implementation of the new medication and instruction of side effects.
Just identifying these things required a thorough physical assessment as well as a patient listening ear. I sensed the enemy of my soul and the souls of my patients longed to cause a decline in the quality of their life and not an improvement. The outcome of each visit had less to do with my independence and much more to do with introducing life giving team members and information to each patient/caregiver as needed.
But in myself, other team members and caregivers I saw the tendency to do too much at times. Taking on things that patients and caregivers can and should do for themselves, shouldering unhealthy workloads, or allowing behaviors bordering on abuse/neglect did not encourage a healthier life.
These hard things required a great deal of submission, flexibility and interdependence. There were times I became frustrated, cynical and weary of the process of cooperating with all the different personalities involved and still maintaining healthy boundaries.
Until……….I submitted and surrendered to my Lord and Master who had all the strength for me, the answers, the patience and the healthy boundaries. Gradually, through seeking His loving way to do things and think about things, I learned how to navigate the challenges and maintain a confident peace.
And to my surprise, a greater respect and freedom to impart wisdom to the team and my patients occurred because it was no longer my agenda but His! My Lord made sure of that.
Recognizing these truths brought me to a place of more peaceful submission to the process, my Clinical Director and fellow team members. Healthier communication encouraged a unified effort in bringing greater life to patients and their caregivers.
There were times I gently reminded Nelson to focus on forgiveness of past hurts and embracing of God’s present love to help him relax and let go of the physical pain just as the chaplain had instructed him. When I arrived at Esther’s bedside and found her lying square on her bedsore without proper cushions, I kindly held the caregiver responsible. When Elmer refused to take the new medication for his lung congestion and elevated blood pressure, I firmly explained how the medication worked and the possibility of stroke, heart failure or respiratory distress if he didn’t comply.
When the Clinical Director assigned me an unreasonable number of patients instead of hiring more help, I respectfully suggested that I could not continue to provide good patient care and remain healthy myself with the heavy case load.
This new way of living meant taking time to learn of and listen to Him. The challenges were still there, but through study and conversation with my Lord, He showed me wiser ways to handle situations. My faith in Him grew when I followed His direction. The times I didn’t do it His way caused me to go back to His drawing board where He embraced me with forgiveness and comfort.
My flesh, the world and the enemy of my soul still wars against this process of greater submission to my Lord. But His weapons are always readily available if I choose to pick them up and use them. With His weapons, I walk in greater freedom because He is Master and Lord over all whether the world and the enemy acknowledges Him or not.
“ All the wicked of the earth are the scum you skim off; no wonder I love to obey your decrees! I tremble in fear of you; I fear your judgments. Don’t leave me to the mercy of my enemies, for I have done what is just and right. Please guarantee a blessing for me. Don’t let those who are arrogant oppress me! My eyes strain to see your deliverance, to see the truth of your promise fulfilled. I am your servant; deal with me in unfailing love, and teach me your principles. Give discernment to me, your servant; then I will understand your decrees. LORD, it is time for you to act, for these evil people have broken your law. Truly, I love your commands more than gold, even the finest gold. Truly, each of your commandments is right. That is why I hate every false way.”
Psalm 119:119-127 NLT